Lars and the Real Girl

Dear Katie,

I finally got around to renting "Lars." Dave and I both enjoyed it at least as much as you imagined when you recommended it to me in January!

At first, Dave thought the premise was so unbelievable that it could never come together in any cogent way. But I was on board from the beginning. First of all, I've seen more clients with delusions like that than most people would think. And just like Lars's delusion about a blow-up doll being real enough for him to fall in love with, people with delusions are convinced that what they see is absolutely true.

Secondly, "participating in the delusion" until the client outgrows the need for it is a legitimate form of therapy. It doesn't work so well in these "realistic" and skeptical times, as you could never get a whole community to cooperate. But I love the fact that the movie got away with it so convincingly by setting it in a small town.

One viewing wasn't enough. When we watched it the second time, I saw how the townspeople got completely caught up in it, such that they all had to grieve the loss of Bianca right along with Lars. So funny. So touching. So true to the human heart and spirit. And I loved the approach that the doctor/psychologist took: never getting in the way, always walking along side Lars spiritually, poised and ready to facilitate the next step in his recovery, but never herself grandstanding about it or making herself out to be the heroine.

At the time you wrote about one scene:

Katie: But I thought of you because there is this bit of dialogue.

Lars's brother, Gus: We need to take him to a shrink
Lars's Sister-in-Law: We can take him to Dr. Dagmar.
Gus: Dagmar is a general practitioner. He needs a psychiatrist.
Sister in law: She's a psychiatrist, too. She told me you have to be if you live this far north.

I got a kick out of that, because practice up here in rural Maine does require some jack-of-all-trades approaches.

My favorite scene is also early in the movie when the church elders are upset because Lars wants to bring Bianca to services. They ask the pastor what they should do and his response is, "What would Jesus do?" Quick cut to the next scene showing Bianca in church!

Now I have to own the movie. I will never tire of watching it because it rings true despite its fantastic premise. If you haven't seen the extra features, you might want to give them a look. The actors all talk about working with Bianca as if she were flesh and blood: "she's very quiet," "she takes a really long time in makeup."

I'm so grateful that you let me know about Lars. Watching the approach taken by the doc in the movie was a timely reminder that going slowly and supporting the process that the client needs to follow almost always trumps being clever and pushy.

Many thanks. You can be my movie critic forever.

S

Copyright starfishdoc 2008