How to Find the Right Therapist

When I asked people to suggest topics for my blog, "How to Find the Right Therapist" topped the list. Having been on the search end once myself, I know that finding a good therapist feels like a crap shoot.

The stigma surrounding the need for help is probably the greatest obstacle to the search. (You know, the one that says if you need a therapist you must be crazy.) If the stigma were not there, you'd do the same thing you do when you're looking for a good place to buy shoes, or a good hairdresser: you'd ask some friends for recommendations.

But since asking friends is still somewhat taboo, and our friends often do not tell us they have been in therapy to begin with, here are some guidelines you can use when the time comes.

1. Understand that the quality of the relationship between you and the therapist is the most significant predictor of a successful outcome.
You want to find someone who puts you at ease. If the therapist feels comfortable in her own skin, she is going to make you feel comfortable in yours. Credentials are important, but all the credentials in the world are not going to lead to resolution of your problems if you do not feel safe.
2. Be a smart consumer.
Most folks don't realize that shopping for a therapist has many things in common with shopping for a new car. You need to do your research. You need to make comparisons. Get the names of at least three therapists. Take them out for a test drive by spending at least fifteen minutes talking to each of them by phone, instant messaging or email exchange. Pick the one who was easiest to talk to.
3. Do not let insurance companies dictate your choices.
If you start your search for therapists with your insurance company's list of participating providers, you may be limiting your choices. Many experienced therapists do not accept insurance (that includes me), because insurance companies do not pay us well. And here's a secret insurance companies are not eager to tell you: many policies require the company to reimburse you for payments you make to a qualified professional who is outside the network. So I suggest starting your search with the yellow pages or the web. You can get a good initial sense of the values and credentials of the therapist by seeing how they advertise.
4. Take the therapist's level of experience seriously. This work is complicated and takes many years to learn to do well. (I for one believe I have just hit my stride!) You need not rule out younger therapists (we all have to start somewhere), but you do have the right to ask how long they have been in practice, how much experience they have had with your particular problem, and if they consult regularly with a more experienced therapist.
5. Think about your needs.
What are the qualities in another person that you respond to best? Someone who gives you practical suggestions? Someone who is a good listener? Spend some time thinking about the qualities that work for you, and look for those in the therapist.
6. Consider the best format. It used to be that face-to-face therapy was the only format available. Today, you can choose other formats like telephone, instant messaging, video conferencing, and email. With face-to-face, your choices are limited by geography. But if you are willing to try one of the other formats, the sky's the limit. You can do an online search for therapists and find someone hundreds of mile away who's just the right match. Telephone and IM have some advantages over face-to-face. For one, you can do this from the comfort of home and don't have to dress for the occasion. Many of my telephone clients like the opportunity to take notes, while sitting in their favorite chair with a cup of tea.

Well, I know this is only a start. Let me know if this information is helpful, and if you would like me to go into more detail about some of these points. If you have tips to add or would like to share how you found your therapist, please comment.

Copyright 2007 starfishdoc