A Loss of Innocence

I just finished listening to a friend's tragic story of being fired after someone made a spurious and false accusation of wrongdoing against her. The details of her story are not mine to tell. Nor are they important to this piece, which is about what happens to the life of an innocent person who has been unjustly accused.

Here are just a few of the damaging and long term effects. The psychological impact includes despair, self-doubt, ruminations, withdrawal, shame and embarrassment. Physical manifestations include sleeplessness, loss of appetite, deterioration in self-care, loss of concentration, and other health changes, like elevated blood pressure. There are social changes too. People start treating you differently. You begin to notice them withdrawing as if you were contagious. People avoid you out of a suspicion that the allegations may be true. The quality of previously healthy relationships turns sour. The social institutions assigned to investigate such allegations, in their attempt to remain impartial, treat you no differently than someone who is guilty.

Worst of all, I think, is leading a double life. By that I mean having this catastrophic experience going on inside while you try to pretend that everything is fine on the outside. The answer to the simple question, "How are you?" becomes a lie, "I'm fine." And the wheels of justice take so long. The time between accusation and exoneration is months, even years. And by the time exoneration comes, all the damage described above is done. Your reputation, your finances, your well-being, all compromised.

I wish there were a way to stop accusers from making false claims so easily, because once an accusation is out it has a life of its own. And let's be honest. When we hear an accusation about someone else, we may say "innocent until proven guilty," but secretly we may feel, "where there's smoke there's fire."

I have heard stories like this many times, because a therapist's office is one of the safe places to talk about such things. You have no idea how many people are carrying around stories of false accusations, but are too ashamed to tell. This experience is so serious, and, I believe, so widespread, that I thought it deserved a name. I'm calling it, "post-traumatic sucker-punch syndrome." I know my friend will never be quite the same.

Copyright 2007 starfishdoc